12 Signs You Might Be Emotionally Unavailable
Have you been called cold and unfeeling? Some people get that impression, but you're not. You care deeply, but you just like hiding your emotions. Exes have said they broke it off because they couldn't get past the wall that you put up around yourself and they're right, they couldn't. Being emotionally unavailable doesn't make you less of a person, you still love and want to be loved, you're just afraid of letting someone in, it only gives them more power over you. You are your own hero. Here are some signs that you are emotionally unavailable:
1) You Don't Do Relationships
You like the idea of relationships, in theory. You want to be wanted and loved but the thought of staying with one person for the rest of your life scares the crap out of you. When things start getting too serious you get out of there as fast as you can. You're not comfortable sharing your life and feelings with another person.
2) You're Happy On Your Own
Relationships can be messy and feelings can get hurt. It's easier to not commit to anyone and focus on yourself. You like your own company and you never ask more of yourself than you're willing to give. You don't pester yourself with questions. It's easier and more comfortable to be alone.
3) You Wear A Mask
You manage your image so that people get what you think is the 'correct' version of you. You hide certain aspects or interests so that you fit in, or to put people off so they won't try to relate to you. Anyone who sees through that mask feels like a threat, especially if that person is trying to pursue a relationship with you. Relationships make you feel vulnerable.
4) You Cut & Run
Not only in romantic situations, in friendships as well. Things could be going great for a while, like a friendship honeymoon period, but as soon as some kind of difficulty presents itself, you leave. It's easier to avoid them than to talk out your feelings. This means that you don't often have very many close friends. The ones you do have are so used to your closed off nature that they tease you about it.
5) You Can't Handle Others' Emotions
If someone breaks down in front of you, you honestly have no clue how to deal with the situation. You half-heartedly pat their back and say 'there, there' and look around desperately for someone to rescue you. It makes you feel inbelievably uncomfortable. You can't understand why someone would be so not composed or together. Don't they know all the other crap that's going on in the world?
6) You're A Terrible Flirt
Not only are you a terrible flirt, if someone is flirting with you it can take you a while to notice. It unsettles you, why are they interested? You find it difficult to flirt because you don't really think you're that much of a catch. Plus, you have no time for relationships, one night stands you can do, but small talk and flirting? No thanks.
7) Enthusiastic People Tire You Out
People who are always super positive about everything and jumping around with enthusiasm and excitement about every little thing? Yeah, these people completely perplex you. You get exhausted watching them. You can't tolerate it. It gives them the impression that you really dislike them, but you don't. You just can't keep up and frankly, you don't want to.
8) You Don't Like Talking About Your Problems/Feelings
People often think you're really upset about something because you're super quiet all the time. But you're not, you just have your mind on other, more important, things. Yes, you get stressed, but you relieve it through exercise and you don't let it drag you down. You enjoy life and you don't feel the need to tell everyone about it.
9) You Don't Like Getting Involved
You're a solo artist. You prefer to do individual projects as opposed to working in a group. You wouldn't be part of a rally, even if you supported a cause. You prefer individual sports, like swimming and running, to group sports. Even at parties, you would never be really interested in meeting people and having small talk with all these randomers, staying in and reading or watching Netflix is a lot more fun to you.
10) You Make Jokes In Serious Situations
You use sarcasm as a defensive shield against the world. Death of a family member, friend's break up, failing an exam...whatever the situation you always have a witty comeback for the universe. People don't always love you for it, but it's all you have to protect yourself from showing emotion.
11) You Aren't Drawn To Available Guys
You have terrible taste in men. You are always drawn to the guys that are emotionally available or those who are taken, guys that can't be there for you, because you don't want to be there for them. If an available guy did become interested, you'd run for the hills.
12) You Never Want To Appear Weak
You're very concerned with self-preservation. You're closed off to protect yourself from looking stupid, emotional, needy. Instead, you want people to perceive you as strong, cold and indifferent, even though underneath it all, you might be a big softie. You'll have to be careful if you want to keep up the facade...someone might come along and they'll be able to break down your walls and take off your mask, and you won't see them coming.