Self Preservation: Why You Shouldn't Feel Bad When You Cut Off Toxic Family Members

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Submitted by Take Out on Thu, 02/06/2020 - 16:53

Family is very important for every person, but sometimes certain family relations can be so toxic that can affect your well-being. Just like toxic relationships there are also toxic family relationships that need to be ended up. We can never choose our family, it comes with our birth on this world, and to have a family is a wonderful thing, but not when it causes pain.

The best way to protect yourself from a toxic family member is to try to distance yourself form that particular person that causes you harm. Yes, it is probably the most difficult thing that you need to do in your life, but sometimes you need to put yourself first if you want to keep your sanity and health. This is probably the only right way to do.

Reasons Why You Should Distance From a Toxic Family Relationship

Manipulative behavior

If someone from the family has a tendency to insult you, and the next day tries to make amends and be nicer, it is a first indication of manipulative behaviors. A healthy family relationship is constant and real, but when there is persistent changing in behaviors, then it is most likely that you are being manipulated. You will notice that once you start to step away from such toxic family member, you are treated much better than before, and that is done with a sole purpose not to lose control over you.

Being there for you only when it is of their interest

Some members of the family are only there for you because they believe that it will of their interest or later on asking for something in return. This is not real care for you and you do not need a conditional love that involves involuntary payback. They are there only because they need something from you, and you should decide if you want such relationship in life no matter if it involves family. A true family member will be with you in any possible situation offering support and help. This is a healthy family relationship that for sure will bring happiness.

Sharing your secrets with others

If a family member does not respect your trust and talks behind your back, then he or she is not true family member. Your deepest thoughts have been meant only for that particular person and not to be shared with others, especially if you are going through a difficult and vulnerable period in life. Your personal things are not subject for gossiping at least not from a family member that should keep your back at any cost.

Judging you all the time

Judgmental people are part of every society, and it is not always bad thing if it is based on constructive criticism making you a better person. However, if it is persistent, and it is about everything in life, then this not a good intentional judgment, especially if it causes you pain and lowers your self-esteem. In such case you should distance from such person, family or no family.

Gaslighting you

This is a way of manipulation that can make you feel powerless. A family member that tries to discredit you after you have witnessed their wrong doings in terms of your perception, memory, and even sanity is actually gaslighting you. If this goes on repeatedly, then it is time to walk away and cut any ties from him or her.

Family should be our safe house, but unfortunately it is not always like that, and if the relations inside are toxic it is better to go away in order to keep your sanity.