"Yo I'm Not With That Gay Sh*t" First of All, You're Not Even Cute
Dear Straight People, We, the gayz know that it is almost beyond the scope of your imagination and brain power to fathom that a same gender loving person would not automatically be attracted to you and want to sex you down on sight but
I know, I know your mind is blown, but stay with me and I'm going to try to break this down as hetero as possible.
You know how you're not attracted to every person you meet of the opposite sex? The same goes for us. You know how every person of the opposite sex isn't attracted to you. The same also goes for us.
Are you still we me? Great.
Here are some ways a person of the same sex may interact with you and not want to fuck you:
Asking for directions
Brushing past you in a crowded area
Looking in your general direction and even making eye contact
Sitting next to you
Sitting across from you
Walking into a room you're already in
Still there? Great.
IF MEMBERS OF THE OPPPOSITE SEX DON'T WANT YOU CHANCES ARE I'M NOT GONNA EITHER!
In the words of T-Pain aka Teddy Penderassdown
In other words, we're gay not blind and certainly not desperate.
If you're walking around looking and acting a hot ass mess, with bad hygiene, and don't have any ambition, or any redeeming qualities, nobody is checking for you bro/sis. So stop. We're no more superficial than anyone else but it's always the rejects that think you want them the most. No. No. Nah.
No I don't wanna turn you
No I'm not going to waste my good alcohol and weed to see if you're curious
and no I'm not going to judge you if you listen to Beyonce or Rihanna or enjoy Mary J Blige's heartbreak albums because I do too.
You don't have to preface your interactions with me with "Oh I don't go that way" because I'm not coming down your street or turning on your block. If you are U-G-L-Y and you don't have an alibi, you don't have to worry bout us.
"Straight guys are worried that gay men are going to treat them how they treat women" Yeah we look and talk about you to our friends but that still doesn't mean we want you. Maybe we're bored. Maybe we like the outfit you have on and not the person thats wearing it.
Even if you are cute, you may not be my type so you still don't have to worry about me.
We can hang out, be friends but thats as far as its gonna go.
Spend the time you think we're thinking about you on something else, anything else.
We good? Cool
Love, (No Homo)